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Listen: Despite what Mike Myers says on SNL, a coffee talk can, in fact, feel like quite a big whoop. Whether you’re meeting someone for an informational interview, as part of your internship program, or just because you’re trying to expand your network, we’ve got some tips on how to get the most out of a coffee chat without getting the jitters.
Rehearse, but Don’t Script Yourself.
It’s important that you go into a coffee talk with a plan: the topics you want to cover, the questions you want to ask, maybe even an elevator pitch or a prepared “tell me about yourself” response. To prepare, go through the other person’s LinkedIn page for ideas on what to ask them, read up on the company they currently work for, and things like that. But it’s important that you don’t try to run this chat on a script. It’s not really a chat if you’re just going through a list of prepared questions—that’s more like an interrogation, and the person you’re talking to will absolutely notice. This is supposed to be a casual chat, so treat it like one.
Try to Genuinely Connect.
This is similar to the above point, but it merits talking about specifically. Your goal with a coffee talk should really be to become acquaintances with the person you’re chatting with. That means really listening to them when they talk, asking thoughtful follow-up questions, and being engaged. To that point, you don’t necessarily need to keep the conversation completely work-focused. If they mention that, after work, they like to wind down by reading or watching TV, ask what they’re reading/watching at the moment. If they mention they have kids, ask how old they are. People often connect over the little things more easily than they do over the big things. And if you focus on trying to meet this person as you would anyone else, rather than treating it like a job interview, you’ll make a way better impression and feel more relaxed in the moment.
Keep Your Energy High, but Not Manic.
There’s a delicate balance when it comes to being an engaging person to talk to. You want to seem excited to be there, so if your affect is as flat as Wednesday Addams’, it may be a good idea to kick yourself into high gear when first meeting a potential colleague. But you don’t want to seem like a jazzed-up labradoodle who can’t contain their excitement, either. Nerves are natural, so you may as well find a good way to channel them. For those with more reserved personalities, try using nerves to fuel your energy levels—listen to pump-up music on your way to the chat, give yourself a pep talk in the mirror about how great you’re going to do. For those who need no assistance staying high-energy, find a way to get your nerves out before your chat: go for a walk/run, write down your feelings in a journal, whatever helps you to feel chilled out.
Pay for the Coffee, If You Can.
It’s not mandatory that you pay for the other person’s latte, but you should certainly try to do so. If you’re the one who asked the other person out to chat, then you should be the one who pays, since they’re the one being generous with their time. (Incidentally, I find this to also work well in the dating world.) But if the person you’re with insists on paying, put up a little bit of a fight (“Oh no, please, let me—I asked you to chat with me, after all”), but don’t cause a scene if they don’t give up. Just thank them politely and move on.
Make a Plan to See Them Again (If You Want).
If all goes well, then this won’t be your only time speaking to this person. There are certainly times when an informational interview only goes that far, and that’s fine. But if you’ve gone through all the effort to meet this person and you’ve gotten to know them a bit at this first meeting, you should try and stay in touch. Even an email every couple of months to ask how they’re doing or share a step in your career journey, though if you’d like to go out to coffee another time, just ask! If the person is already your colleague (i.e., a full-time employee at the company you’re interning for), then it should be really simple to meet up for coffee or lunch just to catch up, talk about company happenings, or perhaps even discuss how the peanut is neither a pea nor a nut.
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